Friday, July 18, 2008

My Heart of Darkness by Kelly Deppen

This is Bridges Revelatory Ministry-July 8, 2008

On an incredibly dark and dreary Saturday in 2004, I went into the city to shop with my son Mitch who was 18 at the time. We went to the ‘punk rock/skateboard/heavy metal store.’ The shop had all of the skate stuff that Mitchell liked and his usual brands of gear.

Inside the store, very oppressive heavy metal music was blaring. I could not discern any lyrics, just guttural, roaring. The salesperson was a tall, slender young man in his early twenties. He had very white skin and pitch black dreadlocks. His eyes were lined with black kohl and his nails were polished black. Every pierce-able part of this guy’s face was studded with silver studs—and I was entirely freaked out!

He disappeared into the stock room to fetch shoes and I looked at Mitch as if to say, “Let’s get the heck out of here!” Mitch read my mind and my expression and said, “Mom, chill—it’s just a store.” The music intensified and I began to feel as if an elephant was sitting on my chest!

My son grabbed a few articles of clothing to try in the fitting room.The sales guy met us in the back at the fitting rooms and opened a stall with a key. It was at this point that I could no longer hold my peace and I said, “Wow! How do you deal with the oppressive spirit of this music all day?” Mitch looked at me with that pleading look and mumbled an apology to the clerk. "Awwww. Mom!"

The young man leaned over the counter at me and said the most unexpected thing! He said, “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. I’ll be right back.” He disappeared through a door and in a second the more melodic, yet still powerful sound of “Evanescence” came through the sound system. Love them. "Bring me to LIFE! Wake me up inside!" "My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation."

I began to relax and act like a human being and talk with the guy.

As I spoke to him he looked me in the eye and was genuinely interested in my questions. He could SEE me!

“Seriously, I said, what appeals to you about that music that was playing before?”

“I am a musician and it takes a lot of talent to play music that is that intense,” he explained. “The intensity of it makes me feel alive,” he added. Go figure, nothing else in the falseness of this dark reality we call the physical realm made him feel alive---I was beginning to relate.

I was beginning to discern and connect with an intelligent, kind, communicative and creative person. All of a sudden--- I COULD SEE HIM! And, as I did I began to feel the anointing of the Lord flow for the first time since I entered the shop.

See, friend, I walked into that shop thinking of myself as some sort of prophetic writer and minister. Yeah. I thought that I had my finger on the pulse of God and that I had it going on. I did not have the first clue! I was not just a farce---I was the kind of farce that hurts people! His name is David. He is the assistant manager of the store, he plays guitar and writes music for a heavy metal band; he loves extreme sports. He was talking with me very freely and without hesitation.

You could say that David was charming!

When Mitch popped out of the fitting room he was stunned to see me and David just shootin' the breeze. Mitch was dumbfounded! We took all of the purchases to the cash register to pay and Holy Spirit spoke very clearly to me: “This is David, a young guitar player; you could say that he plays a stringed instrument. He is passionate and intense about everything in his life. I love him!”

I BROKE DOWN experiencing the LOVE of GOD for this guy!

I could feel tears welling up and I tried to fight them. I leaned across the counter and I grabbed David’s arm. I pulled him close and looked intensely in his eyes. He obliged. I heard myself say: “David, you are going to go a long way playing your guitar, and God loves you!” See--that's prophetic. That's the Testimony of Jesus Christ (Revelation 19:10) That's conveying the LOVE of GOD---His Name is JESUS.

He wept.

I paid. David stepped from behind the counter and asked if he could hug me before I left. My son was completely confounded—in a good way.

Mitchell and I quietly went home through the dark skies and driving rain. As we crested the mountain on the road home Holy Spirit spoke a slicing rebuke to me.

He said: “Were you shocked and offended by that young man’s appearance?”

“Well, yes, Lord, I was,” I replied.

“The dark, blackness of it offended you, then?” He asked again. “Well, at first it did, Lord.” I said. “That’s nothing,” He continued. “It was far worse for Me when I had to look into the black bitterness and judgment in your heart.”

His words cut me! His truthful remark pierced my heart and conscience and I sobbed violently. I pulled off to the side of the road and Mitch drove the rest of the trip home. I live my whole life openly in front of my son, so I repented of my ugly judgment of David out loud. This moved my son to tears and we cried silently until we arrived home.

David and I are friends. When I shop I stop by to say hello and most times the Lord gives me a word of love and life for him. He is always warm and receptive and I always get a hug on the way out of the store. I am so thankful to the Lord for His mercifully quick, sharp circumcision of my heart , especially where David is concerned. David blesses me.

David is an intense, passionate young man who plays a stringed instrument and composes music. Hello, Kelly! God LOVES guys like that!

There is no limit to the destiny God has for him—there is no limit to the love that God has for him. God is FOR DAVID. God is FOR DAVID. Who the hell was I to be against him? Behold my ugly, black, sinful heart.

My job is to authentically demonstrate God's Love, to speak Light and Life. God has shown me a prophetic vision of David as a passionate worshipper and I amen that vision every chance I get. But in the present moment, before the fulfillment of the prophecy---GOD IS FOR DAVID.
His Word—written or rhema—is a two-edged sword. It cuts both ways! It reveals the whiteness of purity in us and it exposes the blackness of judgment and sin in our hearts. That day I got a fresh revelation of the Reverence and Respect that are required to wield the Sword of God in the earth!

Recently, Holy Spirit said to me:
The Sword of My Word is a Weapon, it is a Light, it is an Instrument of Healing, it is an Implement of Change in the earth realm—and it is always, always an Expression of My Love.”

JESUS IS THE WORD. God the Word. God is LOVE.

And we must wield His Sword with eyes to see! And we must NEVER intend to hurt. Judgment hurts. You have been judged. Recall that pain.

Here is my July 2008 Post-Script Word of Prophetic Encouragement:
"Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm." Psalm 105:15

"They were the anointed of the Lord, sanctified by his grace, sanctified by his glory, and had received the unction of the Spirit. They were his prophets, instructed in the things of God themselves and commissioned to instruct others (and prophets are said to be anointed, therefore, if any touch them, they touch the apple of God’s eye; if any harm them, it is at their peril." ~ Matthew Henry

Beloved people of God, I say this in all humility, looking up at you, under the Spirit of the Fear of the Lord:

If, as you read my account of meeting the young man David, you though me an ass---- you would be correct. I was an ass. God stepped in and fixed me and saved me from myself and the ugly religion in me. I am a new creature in Christ entirely due to Him. He fixed me.

So, since I was an ass for my thoughts and attitudes toward David, do you suppose it is OK to judge the people of God? Look, there is too much of this going on. It is Breaking God's Heart.
For whatever unsearchable reason, when God chooses to impart a prophetic mantle or any other ministry mantle---He does NOT simultaneously impart perfection. Go figure. God could, but He does not.

This is my cry to God:

Father! Oh for the sake of the Glory of Jesus!

Please release a Greater Grace on ALL of US!

Abba Father in the Name of Jesus,

Save us from Ourselves in this time of Your Obvious Outpouring!

Grace us all, Father, to lay DOWN Opinions---We have carried them and tossed them about like rocks intended for the woman caught in adultery.

Let ALL HANDS and ALL WORDS be raised in PRAISE of YOU,

Let all rocks fall to the ground.

Let Your Outpouring Continue for Your Glory, Jesus.

May we become LIKE YOU...





July 8, 2008

and in Eternity

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well OK here goes. I imagine I will be considered judgmental, but that's ok. Please re-read your article you posted from A.W. Tozer "The old cross and the new." That is a much more accurate viewpoint of our saving faith than this one. I understand baby Christians need time to grow and mature without getting "beat up" by other believers. But at the same time we don't need to encourage them to continue to bow their knee to baal. This story reminds me of why we have a hard time getting true revival in the land. Way too much compromise with the enemy. Even the author couldn't abstain from using profanity in the article. True "Love of God" always removes us from "the appearance of evil", it doesn't keep us in it in some sort of weird half Christian, half heavy metal rocker I'll switch back and forth mentality. The closer we get to God, the more of the world, the flesh, and the devil falls off of us. Holiness is still relevant in 2011. That being said I love you guys enough to "speak the truth in love."

Frank Gilbert